Dream, dream, dream...

Before I start, I think its best that I apologise to a friend of mine who came to me for advise and all I did was rub it in. You see, for the past 3 days, I only had about less than 8 hours of sleep in total. Why? Well, for the most part of it, I was drunk, the other reason, everytime I close my eyes I see her, her, her, her and her...who are they? Well, that will be a very long story now wouldn't it. Anyway, I want to apologise because I did something that no friend should do...I brought him down. He would probably ignore this because he hate these mushy things, but that's just him.

Now, on with the real reason I writing this. Since now, I am slightly sober, I think I can wrtie this entry. Dreams have been around for many centuries. Joan of Arc had dreams saying that it was a message from God. Abraham Lincoln had a dream of his death before he was assassinated. So what are dreams exactly? Are they some sort of divine message or a peek into a future. My answer...I don't have the slightest clue. I have done research and alot of it, those who know me would know, but in all my months of research, I could not find anything solid or definite answer and until now they are still researching what dreams really mean.

So what do dreams mean to me? Well, to me it depends on what kind of dreams. In a book I read, the author said that were 5 types of dreams, ok...I would tell you what that 5 types are but I think my head is splitting...well, moving on, dreams nowadays are just killing me. Ok fine, dreams are just touturing to me...better not continue...

Okok, I'll talk about what I think dreams mean to people in general, or so I think. There is a song which states, "Dreams are wishes, the heart makes", I think that is a good way of putting it. But more importantly, it is about hope. And that is where I was wrong about what I told my friend. When I was cooking just now, I sliced my hand open (don't know whether on purpose or not, I'm still drunk, HAHAHA), and as I saw blood flowing down my hand, I wondering why I was still alive, why does my broken heart was ten times the agony of that of my open wound, and I realise the only real thing to live for is hope. Hope is all I have in this world where my life is going down. I mean, I'm in love with someone I can NEVER go for, I have friends who are contemplating suicide, my family might declare bankruptcy, I have no bloody future, I'm an drunk and stoned out of my skull and there is blood all over my laptop as I am typing this. But somehow, deep down, somewhere down there, I have a little speck of hope. And that is where dreams come in. I mean you don't always have a friend or family to tell you that everything is going to be alright so you have yourself, and subconciously that is what your dreams tell you. They tell you that everything is going to work out. Ever had a dream of the future and you swear its so real? Well, that is your subconcious telling you that, that future might come true and whether good or bad, subconciously, you are just telling yourself that you can make it happen or change it. Nothing is written in stone, except the day you leave this earth. So your dreams are actually that little speck of hope in your so called pathetic life. Don't get me wrong, dreams have been horrible for me but I probably deserve it...for you out there, dreams are the messages you were looking for, the boost in confidence that you needed and the one thing that is stopping you from killing yourself. So hold on to your dreams, and work at it to make it come true. Well that is what I think anyway...like I said there really isn't real solid answer yet so until someone does give me a concrete answer, I think I'm going to go have a drink...