Bye 2008, HELLOOO 2009!!

Looking back on this year, especially my blog entries of this year, I would really have to say it has really been a rollercoaster ride. Ups and mostly downs, I really didn't expect that in one year I could experience so much. From, getting backstabbed to being hit by a car, getting rejected by people to having a sympathy date from a girl who is now halfway around the world. To be really frank, I think this is really the most happening year of my life (so far..). The best part, I finally completed my New Year resolution that I've held for so many years. Wow, so many things, so many moments, how the hell to embrace all...

Anyway, Happy New Year to all, and thanks for making 2008 a year not to forget, for those who have been with me through the bad, I really want to thank all of you. I wish we didn't have to seperate but as 2009 arrives so does new pathways and new roads open up, and for some the decision is made for you and we have to go our seperate ways. So I really wish all of you the best and may God bless....

Out Of Desperation...

Til now, I still don't know if I did the right thing. On one hand I'm glad, I stayed, but on the other I still have the urge to go get another plane ticket. But, now I can't. Why? Because I'm stupid....

I was stuck in a maze that I couldn't get out of and I was frustrated, so I decided to cheat, I tried to buy my way out. I spend all my life savings, only not to go through with it. Now, I'm stuck with not even a penny to my name. I was desperate for an answer and so I made a rash decision. It's my fault, I get it, but it is pissing me off when everyone is rubbing it in my face. Sooner or later, if this does not stop, I will hurt someone, I just know I will, to make things worse, this time I can't buy my way out...

Looks like I can add another thing to my regret list for the year. A friend of mine once said, I was stupid because I was the type of person that would chop his arm off and sell it just so to help a friend. That really pissed me off, I was so close to killing him, but, the thing that he didn't know was, I wasn't angry at him (though he won't see it that way), I was angry at the fact that he was right. And if he was with me yesterday, he would have probably smack me in the head and rub it in my face saying he was right. You see, I was so desperate for money that I accepted a job that I know I couldn't handle all by myself, but like I said, I was desperate. To makes things worse, the amount of money I was getting was peanuts comparing to the money I would have earn in the market. Like I said, I was desperate. Then when the time came, everything that could screw up, screwed up. Instead of earning money, the money I got was just to cover the taxi fare I had to spend on and the batteries I had to buy, and now I'm back to where I was....

Don't even have enough to buy a decent present......fuck....

Maybe It's Time...

Saying goodbyes are hard....really hard...

But i guess it's necessary this time. For one last time, take care...

Can this be true??...

I didn't believe my ears. Did I hear what you say? Was it what I thought it was?

If that is true, then I guess there is still hope for me yet. Those words you said, have open my eyes wide open. But, it also made me question my intentions. What will I do now? What am I suppose to do now? Again, more questions and yet no answer in sight. But for tonight...just for a moment, I feel like there is still hope for me yet...

Thank you...

First of the Month...

It's the first of the month, the last month of the year....

Oh how time flies....it felt like only yesterday, I was in the lecture theatre finding my class, but now is already the last stretch before I....*poof*....

So many questions...no answers...damn...

Haiz...oh well. Back to work....no sleep.

Sleep? What is that?