100..finally i reached a 100 but i wish that this post could be a happier one. well, in a way it sort of is. today i celebrated with my brothers the mom's 61st birthday. well she would have been 61 if she was still around. not a day goes by i just wish this was all just a bad dream. i wish i could remember her better. instead im just hurting myself even more just thinking about it. frustrations just keep piling up in my head. wish things would be easier. feel like there is a gap in my life, a hole that i dont even know i can fill. i know it sounds cliche but i guess everybody is use to it by now.
sometimes i just feel like shutting down, ending it here. dont know why i even bother. need to find answers. still getting more questions......
help....
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