Til now, I still don't know if I did the right thing. On one hand I'm glad, I stayed, but on the other I still have the urge to go get another plane ticket. But, now I can't. Why? Because I'm stupid....
I was stuck in a maze that I couldn't get out of and I was frustrated, so I decided to cheat, I tried to buy my way out. I spend all my life savings, only not to go through with it. Now, I'm stuck with not even a penny to my name. I was desperate for an answer and so I made a rash decision. It's my fault, I get it, but it is pissing me off when everyone is rubbing it in my face. Sooner or later, if this does not stop, I will hurt someone, I just know I will, to make things worse, this time I can't buy my way out...
Looks like I can add another thing to my regret list for the year. A friend of mine once said, I was stupid because I was the type of person that would chop his arm off and sell it just so to help a friend. That really pissed me off, I was so close to killing him, but, the thing that he didn't know was, I wasn't angry at him (though he won't see it that way), I was angry at the fact that he was right. And if he was with me yesterday, he would have probably smack me in the head and rub it in my face saying he was right. You see, I was so desperate for money that I accepted a job that I know I couldn't handle all by myself, but like I said, I was desperate. To makes things worse, the amount of money I was getting was peanuts comparing to the money I would have earn in the market. Like I said, I was desperate. Then when the time came, everything that could screw up, screwed up. Instead of earning money, the money I got was just to cover the taxi fare I had to spend on and the batteries I had to buy, and now I'm back to where I was....
Don't even have enough to buy a decent present......fuck....
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