In this week's edition of Mind Your Body(it's part of the newspaper), they analyse 'teen angst', and the number one result of is self-mutilation. In fact, self-mutilation has increase from 20% of teens to an astounding 50% (Note: It is only an estimate...). Even if it was an estimate, it would mean that for every one teen, another one is literally trying to hurt themselves. I don't know about you but these people are just insane...then again, are they really to blame? Adults been through it, parents don't understand it, friends...well...that is the problem now isn't it? Look at it this way, and average age of a Singaporean is about 80 years, and based on a survey that I have done, on the average we only spend about 50% of our whole life we our families, and this number is only counting the so called "functional and happy" families. So imagine if I were to add the disfunctional families. The rest are made up with friends, colleagues, classmates but the biggest one, acquaintance. I bet you guys are already saying, "I know that..."
Well, if you did know that, then you would know that friends are very important and have a very big impact on the life that we would like to lead. Most of these teens, that get depressed because they get picked on or they failed their exam or their families have problems or a simple thing like having a crush on someone only to have their heartbroken, they did what they did because they felt they are alone in these types of situtations which actually not true because everybody at one point or another, have been through the troubles that I had just mentioned. So they find they only escape they could think of, pain. Hoping that the pain they get will overpower the pain they feel inside, because they rather feel pain from the blood oozing out their wrist rather than feel the pain of getting picked on or discriminated for being different. They sometimes rather feel the pain of a broken leg due to a fall from a five storey building rather than feel the pain of a broken heart. Some prefer being "high" than feeling pain at all. Some people overeat because they rather fall sick than feel the pain of failure. However, not all self-mutilation is physically, some just rather to throw all emotions away, be a rock and close their hearts rather than to have to go through another point of disappointment. Others, just try all of those that I mentioned above and still can't believe they are still living, so the only other way is a confirmation of death, suicide.
You maybe asking the question, "what has this have to do with me?". Well, everything basically. When you have problems with family, you find a friend. When you have problems with a friend, 95% chance you will find another friend. When they cannot find anyone or they THINK, they have no one else, they find for the highest building nearby and jump down. That's it. Now, imagine that was your friend. At his funeral, when somebody ask you, "What was he like?", 99.9999% of the time most people will respond, "He was a nice guy" or something along that line and that is all you will have to say. 75% of that time you would probably feel like you were lying because you don't really know alot about that person then who's fault will that be? You would probably think to yourself, "Hiyah, one friend only still got more"
The thing is, nobody, especially Asians give a damn about another human being. Now, you are probably saying, "No, not me, I am the nicest person in the world. I care about everybody in my life" All I can say is, that is freaking bullshit. How the hell, can you care about the whole world? But there is one thing you could do, pay attention. Not everybody is open about their problems because in the first they don't want you to know they have problems. But if you pay attention you could probably see the signs. If a friend is overeating, than there is a problem. If a friend is not eating, buy something for that person and insist that they should eat. If a friend start wearing long sleeves everyday all of a sudden than maybe they are hiding something. If a friend start to sound negative, cheer the person up. If you have heard from that person from a while, ask how he or she is with a simple SMS or just a message online. Go that freaking extra mile, basically. It may sound like abit extreme and unorthodox and 98% of the time, your attention would be rejected, and you should not expect the same attention because 100% of the time it doesn't happen. However, at least the person knows you care and no matter what happens, you wouldn't be asking "what if.." because you did what a good friend would have done. Most of the time we only care when it's too late, like when they leave sucide notes, when they are already six feet underground.
Now, if you agree to what I have said, you would be saying, "Ok, maybe not I shall pay more attention." This leads to another problem, all talk no action. Disappointment is the last thing you want to give to these people. So don't say, "I want to make our relationship better" or "I want us to start afresh" but then later after 3 weeks your give that person anything like a simple message or a call. If you want to call yourself a friend then act like one. Don't ask someone to help you repair your stuff knowing he has the same work to do, then when you finish you don't even offer help or even a simple call to ask for the progress of the work. There is a saying, "with friends like these, who needs enemies", for me I don't call enemies, that's just harsh and slightly evil. I call them acquaintances...
Some people I know, hate Americans for a bunch a reasons, but I think it's just not justified. Some Americans believe in hugging even their friends, to show that they are part and just as important as their family. When I was at the arrival gate in the States, everybody was hugging everybody, other shook hands...then hugged each other until they couldn't breathe. While I was in Asia such as Thailand, Singapore, Japan, Malaysia, etc they just waved to each other like as if it was no big deal. Maybe it isn't and I am not trying to discriminate Asians, but when I look at multi-million companies in the US, almost half of the companies were being owned by partners, while in Asia, most companies are owned by a single owner almost like a dictatorship. Even, the closet people I know always tell me, "Never work with friends, because Singaporeans don't know the meaning and the concept behind the word." Most would say, "Asians are more self-sufficient and independent whereas Americans cannot be independant and weak." If that is what you want to believe then it's ok. I'm just here to give my two cents, and what I rather believe is that "It is less lonely when you're standing on top of the world with a friend..."
I'm not saying I am a good friend, in fact, I'm the worse of the lot. I just thought if I write this entry and if people were paying attention or even bother to read such a long entry, I would hope the next time they talk about teen angst, it would be something of the past or maybe just bring the percentage of the teens hurting themselves to just 5%. Let the really crazy people kill themselves, don't let it be the people who you call your friends.
P.S. I don't think this would change anybody because human nature is cruel...
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